Second Secret: be generous, but do not expect gratitude

Why is this secret important?

  • When we wait for gratitude, we become prosecutors and bookkeepers, judgmentally counting the slights and affronts.

(Excerpt from the manuscript “Where to Find Happiness for Your Child?” ©)

Sitting opposite me was a woman of about forty who lamented, “I gave them my whole life! All of it! Now, look! They are ungrateful!”

I speak with her and can see that she feels the many “stones” she is carrying on her shoulders . . .

Perhaps you have heard such words more than once. Perhaps you have said them yourself.

I have also been tempted to say, “How much more can I give?”, but instead I learned to ask myself, and honestly answer one question, “Am I bestowing love to my child or am I selling it?”

When we expect something in return, like recognition, gratitude, respect, or admiration, then love is for sale.

  • A gift is a gift . . . When we are generous and share from our hearts, then we bestow.


Being generous, but do not expecting gratitude

Ask yourself this question, “What is my motivation for presenting my gift?” Answer yourself honestly . . .

You do not need roles, scripts or masks. It isn’t always easy. Fear is the strongest motivator to listen to our mind instead of our heart.  

Don’t judge yourself. Learn to ask yourself with love and acceptance knowing that you are improving yourself with each question!

The value of the practice

– By improving ourselves we increase the richness of what we have inside so that we can give more to our children. 

– Actions speak louder than words. 

“It would be better if someone helped me!” complained Little Fluffy Cloud, looking around.

Rising higher and brighter in the sky, Sun said, “When you expect help, you get angry if it’s late or never comes.”

(Excerpt from a fairy tale “Little Cloudfrom the book “Magic Fairy Tales for children and parents”)

Parents-child Heart-to-Heart relationshipopen the Third Secret!