First Secret: be close, but do not cover the light
Why is this secret important?
- Light helps us find our own way in life.
(Excerpt from the manuscript “Where to Find Happiness for Your Child” ©)
When we begin to share our experiences from the perspective of “I know”, even with the best of intentions, we turn into a sign “Go there!” or “Do that!” or “Be this!”
There have been many examples in my life when I advised my children to do “this or that” and . . . my advice was rejected.
At first, it aroused my indignation and I complained to myself, “I have the best of intentions, I’m wiser!”, and then turned to . . . joy, as I realized, “It’s wonderful, my children want to create their own life!”
Of course, my support is important to them, but not my sermons.
If you want to see your children happy, give them the opportunity to create their own happiness.
For this, transfer the responsibility for building their own happiness, to them.
- Personal development is proportional to the development of responsibility. Give your child this opportunity.
Being close, but not covering the light
When you want to give wise advice, or have given it and are waiting for approval, ask yourself a question, “Who really wants this advice . . . You or your child?”
Honestly answering this question will change your attitude from “I know!” to “I want to share with you what has become my experience. It helped me resolve issues . . .
Maybe this will come in handy for you too, giving them the choice of using it.
The value of the practice
– When we ask questions to ourselves, we develop the position of the Master.
– Master knows how to ask himself questions because he knows that they allow him to improve what he has.
– Master is always proactive and takes responsibility for what he created.
“But you know that you are a bird and you do have wings,” said Father Bird.
“And soon you will be able to rise high into the beautiful blue sky and fly,” chimed in Mother Bird.
Mother Bird and Father Bird gently hugged Little Bird Why with their big warm wings.
They all looked into the big blue sky where they would soon spread their wonderful wings and fly high above the land together.
Little Bird Why looked down at her little fuzzy yellow wings and smiled. Now she knew exactly why she needed them . . .
(Excerpt from a fairy tale “Why do I need winds?” from the book “Magic Fairy Tales for children and parents”)